Endpoint

7/10/2018
12:30 PM
John Klossner
John Klossner
Cartoon Contest
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Name That Toon: Mobile Threat

We provide the cartoon. You provide the caption.
We provide the cartoon. You provide the caption.

Submit your caption in the comments, and our panel of experts will reward the winner with a $25 Amazon gift card. If you don't want to enter a caption, help us pick a winner by voting on the submissions. Click thumbs up for those you find funny; thumbs down, not so. As always, editorial comments are encouraged and welcomed.

Click here for contest rules. For advice on how to beat the competition, check out How To Win A Cartoon Caption Contest. The contest closes August 13.

Learn from the industry's most knowledgeable CISOs and IT security experts in a setting that is conducive to interaction and conversation. Register before July 27 and save $700! Click for more info

 

John Klossner has been drawing technology cartoons for more than 15 years. His work regularly appears in Computerworld and Federal Computer Week. His illustrations and cartoons have also been published in The New Yorker, Barron's, and The Wall Street Journal. Web site: ... View Full Bio

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Marilyn Cohodas
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Marilyn Cohodas,
User Rank: Strategist
7/10/2018 | 12:46:40 PM
New Dark Reading Caption contest!
We provide the cartoon! You write the caption. Enjoy!
sdaultrey
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sdaultrey,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/10/2018 | 7:17:00 PM
Re: New Dark Reading Caption contest!
caption: "BlackRock's latest AI announcement took some pedestrian investors by surprise"
Vexel
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Vexel,
User Rank: Strategist
7/11/2018 | 10:21:44 AM
Re: New Dark Reading Caption contest!
Just answer this brief survey to get your wishes!
BrianREO
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BrianREO,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/16/2018 | 10:05:54 AM
Re: New Dark Reading Caption contest!
... I can't make anyone fall in Love with you, I can't bring anyone back from the Dead, and I can't Secure your endpoints.
MattB32201
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MattB32201,
User Rank: Strategist
7/19/2018 | 4:19:54 PM
Re: New Dark Reading Caption contest!
Saudi Arabia's "Siri killer" goes way beyond the normal virtual assistant.
MattB32201
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MattB32201,
User Rank: Strategist
7/19/2018 | 4:29:48 PM
Re: New Dark Reading Caption contest!
Siri is great, but you ain't never had a friend like me.
kdubs162
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kdubs162,
User Rank: Strategist
7/20/2018 | 7:23:32 AM
Re: New Dark Reading Caption contest!
Siri??  You're a guy?
radramu
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radramu,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/24/2018 | 8:18:57 AM
Re: New Dark Reading Caption contest!
"Your Sallie Mae payment is due"
BigDrD
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BigDrD,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/24/2018 | 2:01:08 AM
Re: New Dark Reading Caption contest!
Clean me!! I will give you everything you want!!!
kdubs162
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kdubs162,
User Rank: Strategist
7/25/2018 | 7:29:39 AM
Re: New Dark Reading Caption contest!
How else did you think digital assistants work?
camerobabe
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camerobabe,
User Rank: Strategist
7/26/2018 | 11:31:45 AM
Re: New Dark Reading Caption contest!
Contrary to popular opinion, Security doesn't "magically happen."
REISEN1955
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REISEN1955,
User Rank: Ninja
7/30/2018 | 3:43:18 PM
Re: New Dark Reading Caption contest!
Oh well if you want to bank with Wells Fargo....
BrianN060
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BrianN060,
User Rank: Ninja
8/6/2018 | 2:13:32 PM
Re: New Dark Reading Caption contest!
"... and I wish DarkReading would keep the caption enteries out of the Current Conversations list - they make it much harder to track the real conversations." 
wfishburne
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wfishburne,
User Rank: Strategist
8/8/2018 | 1:14:41 PM
Re: New Dark Reading Caption contest!
Attention Genie User, we are updating out privacy policy as a result of GDPR to better serve customers in the EU. Before any wishes can be granted, we require you to accept our new privacy policy...
REISEN1955
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REISEN1955,
User Rank: Ninja
8/8/2018 | 1:25:05 PM
Re: Pending Review
Now about that mortgage refinance offer from Wells Fargo .....
Ace2010
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Ace2010,
User Rank: Strategist
7/10/2018 | 5:43:45 PM
Name that toon: mobile threat
You have 5 seconds to give me your password before I turn you into a sloth.
No SOPA
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No SOPA,
User Rank: Ninja
7/10/2018 | 8:14:34 PM
Nod to Chris Painter
"Hurry," said the genie, "I got all these Larry Hagman episodes to watch."
Joe Stanganelli
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40%
Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
7/11/2018 | 11:53:00 AM
jgen01
"By submitting a wish, you agree to accept the wishgranter's terms and conditions. Would you like to proceed?"
Joe Stanganelli
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29%
Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
7/11/2018 | 11:57:30 AM
jgen02
"I'm sorry, but I can't grant any wishes involving the EU."
Joe Stanganelli
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Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
7/11/2018 | 12:01:42 PM
jgen03
"For the last time, you can't apply the += operator to my_wishes."
Kristendean80
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44%
Kristendean80,
User Rank: Strategist
7/11/2018 | 2:02:40 PM
Name That Toon: Mobile Threat
" You should have wished for longer battery life. Your phone goes dead in 3..2....."
Mike Atkinson
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Mike Atkinson,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/11/2018 | 2:14:26 PM
Name that toon: Mobile Threat
"You're seeing this ad because you recently visited websites loosely related to genies. To opt out..."
GWAIN
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GWAIN,
User Rank: Strategist
7/11/2018 | 4:54:34 PM
HTML5 Popups
You are today's 99th winner of an Amazon gift card!
SubKleener
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SubKleener,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/11/2018 | 5:58:37 PM
To make your first wish, click on the link below...
To make your first wish, click on the link below...
Therion
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Therion,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/11/2018 | 9:54:35 PM
Chicken Dinner
"You really want to use a wish to improve Windows Updates?"
jmansier
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jmansier,
User Rank: Guru
7/12/2018 | 8:47:08 AM
Caption Content!
"Dang this new 2FA is amazing!" 
acampbell448
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acampbell448,
User Rank: Ninja
7/12/2018 | 10:11:16 AM
Just Dreamin....
I will grant you an extra wish if you hook me up with Barbara Eden!
JoeB1Kanobe
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JoeB1Kanobe,
User Rank: Strategist
7/12/2018 | 12:58:50 PM
World Peace
"World Peace would be easier than getting more than 1 bar here"
sgtljb
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sgtljb,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/12/2018 | 2:55:35 PM
Caption Contest
Kid: I wish you can make my Android Cyber Secure. Genie:Kid you ask too much! Buy an Apple!
KCondit
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KCondit,
User Rank: Strategist
7/12/2018 | 5:02:16 PM
Name That Toon: Mobile Threat
Sorry, you've already used your three wishes, so I can't bring back the headphone jack.

 
joel.henry
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joel.henry,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/12/2018 | 5:16:50 PM
You Wish
"The rules have changed. You now owe ME 3 wishes.
lazyjones
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lazyjones,
User Rank: Strategist
7/13/2018 | 6:30:03 AM
Name That Toon: Mobile Threat
"Congratulations. You have been granted three wishes!. Please provide your bank account number, Social Security number and date of birth."
Skexies
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Skexies,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/13/2018 | 10:55:09 AM
Name That Toon
"I'm sorry, I'll need your consent for data usage before proceeding."
Joe Stanganelli
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Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
7/13/2018 | 12:44:08 PM
jgen04
"Before wishing, please submit a review on the App Store!"
jerodnoname
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jerodnoname,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/13/2018 | 4:51:36 PM
Name that toon: mobile threat; caption
"I can grant you any three wishes you want; except for restoring your privacy."
GaryA672
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GaryA672,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/17/2018 | 7:43:50 PM
Re: Name that toon: mobile threat; caption
I don't care what you say, I can't make your company fall in love with your mobile device!
deffeg
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deffeg,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/13/2018 | 6:30:27 PM
Cartoon Contest
I am the genie of the IoT.  Ask for anything but security or world peace.
Matthew.Pagano
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Matthew.Pagano,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/13/2018 | 7:55:07 PM
Caption Contest - Name That Toon: Mobile Threat
"Wow, Tinder is getting really aggressive these days."
Matthew.Pagano
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50%
Matthew.Pagano,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/13/2018 | 7:56:24 PM
Caption Contest - Name That Toon: Mobile Threat
"Can you go into the background so I can research my wishes?"
Matthew.Pagano
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Matthew.Pagano,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/13/2018 | 7:57:56 PM
Caption Contest - Name That Toon: Mobile Threat
"I actually suggest that you make jailbreaking your third wish in case it bricks your phone."
bengear1986
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bengear1986,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/16/2018 | 6:41:43 AM
Caption
The new augmented reality dating app got off to a bad start
Ratteau
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Ratteau,
User Rank: Strategist
7/16/2018 | 8:20:39 AM
Re: Caption
Tech News: AliBaba throws down the gauntlet with its new killer app;  Amazon rumored to be in talks with Gal Gadot for their next upgrade
lakers85
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lakers85,
User Rank: Strategist
7/16/2018 | 10:19:30 AM
In through the Back Door
Locked device, Ha! I knew there was another way in.
REISEN1955
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REISEN1955,
User Rank: Ninja
7/20/2018 | 8:33:43 AM
Re: In through the Back Door
Who were you expecting?  Robin Williams?
jrig1842
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jrig1842,
User Rank: Strategist
7/17/2018 | 7:39:32 AM
Lamp Security
Cyberspace is much less secure than my old lamp.
FrankP368
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FrankP368,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/18/2018 | 8:02:19 AM
Cartoon Contest
Yea, I'm a genie and all that, but I still can't give you your forgotten password!
ChrisG02801
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ChrisG02801,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/18/2018 | 9:08:07 AM
Caption Contest
"Downloading that malicious .APK really rubbed me the wrong way!"
FKREITZBERG980
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FKREITZBERG980,
User Rank: Strategist
7/18/2018 | 5:24:58 PM
genie
I already know your three wishes.  I have been harvesting your data for months.
carl.root@gmail.com
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0%
[email protected],
User Rank: Apprentice
7/19/2018 | 1:44:33 PM
Identity
Oooo, sorry someone stole your Identity. looks like your three wishes are going to an internet cafe in Tangiers.
carrmi13
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carrmi13,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/20/2018 | 11:29:14 AM
Caption . . .
Hey, I don't make the rules: You get 3 virtual wishes.
Amishrabbit
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Amishrabbit,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/20/2018 | 12:47:54 PM
caption contest
The application "Genie" has stopped responding. Now what are you going to do?
drmrs
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drmrs,
User Rank: Strategist
7/21/2018 | 9:16:37 AM
cartoon caption contest
You have "pushed my buttons" the wrong way. Now, prepare for the consequences!
bbaltas891
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bbaltas891,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/21/2018 | 8:58:12 PM
cartoon caption contest
I will grant you three certifications.  Choose wisely!
Samtheseagull
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Samtheseagull,
User Rank: Strategist
7/23/2018 | 9:54:40 AM
X-phone rated
Congratulation, you have found the Genie spot on your X-phone, I am the curry Genie I will grant you three dishes.
waltonob
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waltonob,
User Rank: Strategist
7/23/2018 | 5:40:25 PM
Complexity Genie
All wishes must have the following: lower case characters, upper case characters, digits, and special characters but cannot be more than 140 characters.
deepanjali.kunthe
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deepanjali.kunthe,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/24/2018 | 1:18:57 AM
Givers gain
Sorry Master || WISHES DENIED||

You did not grant persmission to access your location,contacts, messages and photos.
crouton
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crouton,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/24/2018 | 11:43:11 AM
Caption . . .
That malware you downloaded demanded three wishes.  1. Data mine your phone  2. Turn on your mic  3.  Grant it three more wishes. 
blightsey3921
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blightsey3921,
User Rank: Strategist
7/24/2018 | 3:03:06 PM
not your wish
Acutally, your mother is getting HER wish. The phone is disabled until you call her!
ronrob123
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ronrob123,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/25/2018 | 1:45:45 PM
name that toon
password please!
jnash46801
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jnash46801,
User Rank: Strategist
7/25/2018 | 6:35:39 PM
Name That Toon: Mobile Threat
Our penetration testing has identified a vulnerability.
cy6
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cy6,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/26/2018 | 6:23:03 AM
toon caption
I can fix your bad hair and fashion sense, but securing your phone is beyond my power.
KCondit
75%
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KCondit,
User Rank: Strategist
7/26/2018 | 1:37:55 PM
Cartoon caption contest
Me:  I wish to live forever

Genie:  Nope, sorry. I can't grant such a wish. Not allowed.

Me: OK.  I wish to die the very day after all of our politicians put the needs of their constituents and the country above their own needs and above party politics.

Genie:  You crafty bastard.

 

 
Joe Stanganelli
67%
33%
Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
7/26/2018 | 4:27:52 PM
jgen05
"Well, for 2 Bitcoin, you can wish to get all of your data back."
Joe Stanganelli
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75%
Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
7/26/2018 | 4:30:37 PM
jgen06
"Okay, I'll grant your wish if you grant mine: Stop taking those pictures and sending them to your Tinder matches."
Joe Stanganelli
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0%
Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
7/26/2018 | 4:32:31 PM
jgen07
"I'm sorry, but your wishes aren't compatible with the latest version of iOS."
Joe Stanganelli
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0%
Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
7/27/2018 | 3:48:40 PM
jgen08
"To have your wishes granted, click on the following bitlink!"
Joe Stanganelli
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50%
Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
7/27/2018 | 3:50:40 PM
jgen09
"That's right, any wish you want. You just have to consent to allowing me to sell the content of your wishes matched to your name, phone number, and Facebook account."
mcnaughtont
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mcnaughtont,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/27/2018 | 3:56:28 PM
Name That Toon: Mobile Threat
Sorry, once you post it online it's there for ever, there is no delete button for internet"
Jeff Stebelton
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Jeff Stebelton,
User Rank: Strategist
7/30/2018 | 11:08:07 AM
Caption Contest
What? You were expecting maybe Barbara Eden?
ProgramOne
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ProgramOne,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/30/2018 | 12:29:28 PM
Caption for Image
Your SysAdmin is busy, So I moonlight granting IT Wishes.  So you wish your electronic device to do what again ???
Joe Stanganelli
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Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
7/30/2018 | 11:34:46 PM
jgen10
"I'm not here for you. Your mom wished you'd get a haircut. Hold still."
Joe Stanganelli
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0%
Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
7/30/2018 | 11:52:46 PM
jgen11
"I bet you'll wish you didn't post that."
anroi
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anroi,
User Rank: Apprentice
8/3/2018 | 6:48:36 AM
Caption
Okay, how may I help you today genie?
3milio
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3milio,
User Rank: Strategist
8/3/2018 | 12:06:02 PM
Name That Toon: Mobile Threat caption
"Yes, I came preinstalled. But no, you can't uninstall me.  Anything else?"
3milio
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50%
3milio,
User Rank: Strategist
8/3/2018 | 12:14:07 PM
Name That Toon: Mobile Threat caption
"Just hold down the power button.  I can't seem to do anything."
Joe Stanganelli
50%
50%
Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
8/4/2018 | 8:25:42 PM
jgen12
"With your data plan, I can only grant 2.18 wishes."
Joe Stanganelli
50%
50%
Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
8/4/2018 | 8:27:15 PM
jgen13
"If you enjoyed your first wish, let me tell you about some other wishes you might like."
Joe Stanganelli
50%
50%
Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
8/4/2018 | 8:33:26 PM
jgen14
"Your wish is my desire, comrade."
Joe Stanganelli
50%
50%
Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
8/5/2018 | 4:32:24 PM
jgen15
"You have freed me from the Flashlight app!"
pyrpower
100%
0%
pyrpower,
User Rank: Apprentice
8/14/2018 | 9:37:17 PM
Name That 'Toon
I grant you three wishes--exception being do not ask me to spy...last fine bottled me up for years.
websitemonkey
100%
0%
websitemonkey,
User Rank: Apprentice
8/15/2018 | 5:10:34 PM
Name That Toon: Mobile Threat
I'll need you to first enable Android's option to install programs from unknown sources.
ClaJones
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ClaJones,
User Rank: Strategist
8/17/2018 | 6:34:34 PM
Man with Genie
Man, "I wish you to complete my GDPR compliance for me" Genie... "aaaaaa... no habla englis"
Microsoft President: Governments Must Cooperate on Cybersecurity
Kelly Sheridan, Staff Editor, Dark Reading,  11/8/2018
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Why Password Management and Security Strategies Fall Short
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