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Risk

7/12/2019
10:00 AM
John Klossner
John Klossner
Cartoon Contest
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Name That Toon: Beat the Heat

We provide the cartoon. You write the caption!
We provide the cartoon. You write the caption!

 
Submit your caption in the comments, and our panel of experts will reward the winner with a $25 Amazon gift card. If you don't want to enter a caption, help us pick a winner by voting on the submissions. Click thumbs-up for those you find funny; thumbs-down, not so. As always, editorial comments are encouraged and welcomed. Click here for contest rules. For advice on how to beat the competition, check out How To Win A Cartoon Caption Contest. The contest closes August 15.

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Black Hat USA returns to Las Vegas with hands-on technical Trainings, cutting-edge Briefings, Arsenal open-source tool demonstrations, top-tier security solutions, and service providers in the Business Hall. Click for information on the conference and to register.

 

John Klossner has been drawing technology cartoons for more than 15 years. His work regularly appears in Computerworld and Federal Computer Week. His illustrations and cartoons have also been published in The New Yorker, Barron's, and The Wall Street Journal. Web site: ... View Full Bio

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Marilyn Cohodas
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50%
Marilyn Cohodas,
User Rank: Strategist
7/12/2019 | 12:07:59 PM
New Caption Contest!
We provide the cartoon. You write the caption! Winner gets a $25 Amazon Gift Card. Go for it!
topa101
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100%
topa101,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/12/2019 | 3:02:13 PM
Re: New Caption Contest!
Cyber lifeguard: Bob! Bob! take your 10 minute Social media break!
fredvee
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100%
fredvee,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/12/2019 | 5:22:08 PM
Re: New Caption Contest!
DUN DUN DUN DUN       ^
>Transmission Control Protocol, Src Port: 22609, Dst Port: 36324, Seq: 1, Ack: 1, Len: 1460<

"Get out of the cubicles! Get out of the cubicles! We're gonna need a bigger computer..."
Blaze007
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50%
Blaze007,
User Rank: Strategist
7/22/2019 | 12:23:24 PM
Re: New Caption Contest! "Phishing" vs. "Fishing"
Curiously, the use of lifeguards to thwart "fishing" at Bubba's Discount Software & Trinkets didn't prove to be as successful as initially anticipated.
ChildhoodMemory
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75%
ChildhoodMemory,
User Rank: Apprentice
8/2/2019 | 5:54:41 PM
Re: New Caption Contest!
Reminder: Wait one hour after eating before swimming in the VM Server Pool.
Tempest2004
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67%
Tempest2004,
User Rank: Strategist
7/12/2019 | 2:21:08 PM
Beat the Heat
Couldn't afford a manager with security experiance so they were told to bring someone if from outside.
syekim13
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37%
syekim13,
User Rank: Strategist
7/12/2019 | 2:24:05 PM
Beat the Heat
Cyber Guard Duty: "Don't click that email Karen!!!"
fredvee
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fredvee,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/12/2019 | 5:29:46 PM
Caption
DUN DUN DUN DUN ^ >Transmission Control Protocol, Src Port: 22609, Dst Port: 36324, Seq: 1, Ack: 1, Len: 1460<  "Get out of the cubicles! Get out of the cubicles! We're gonna need a bigger computer..."
GWAIN
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GWAIN,
User Rank: Strategist
7/12/2019 | 5:37:29 PM
Louder is Better
Tired of the repetitive excuses from employees of "not knowing" what they should and should not be doing after endless policy reviews?

Lifeguard Managed Security provides experienced personnel in maintaining the order you deserve.
tdsan
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tdsan,
User Rank: Ninja
7/12/2019 | 7:09:26 PM
Accountability
At what point are we going to start making the employee accountable for their actions?

If we don't, then what is the point (i.e. GDPR)?

T
Ratteau
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Ratteau,
User Rank: Strategist
7/15/2019 | 8:30:25 AM
Teri Garr, Office Lifeguard
Narrator: before deciding to go with their "Terry Tate, Office Linebacker" campaign, Adidas also considered "Teri Garr, Office Lifeguard" but wisely chose against it after a tragic CPR-wet towel-powerstrip incident.
vol_sec
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vol_sec,
User Rank: Strategist
7/15/2019 | 9:51:58 AM
Cartoon Contest
Tom! You are out of scope, please lease in our DHCP pool.
Kristendean80
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29%
Kristendean80,
User Rank: Strategist
7/15/2019 | 9:56:11 AM
Re: Cartoon Contest
At least now I know my boss was listening when I said we were all drowning in paperwork.
Kristendean80
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83%
Kristendean80,
User Rank: Strategist
7/29/2019 | 10:17:21 AM
Cartoon Contest
Good News: IT security was included in the budget this year. We can now hire one high school student from June to August.
KarlK136
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KarlK136,
User Rank: Strategist
7/29/2019 | 12:50:05 PM
Re: Cartoon Contest
thats an internship...
rfarnl
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50%
rfarnl,
User Rank: Strategist
7/15/2019 | 9:57:10 AM
Name That Toon: Beat the Heat
Planned vacation simulation
rafaelr123
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rafaelr123,
User Rank: Strategist
7/15/2019 | 4:40:53 PM
Cyber lifegard on duty
Don't you worry

It's gonna be alright

cause I'm always ready

I won't let you out of my sight
atkinsonr
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atkinsonr,
User Rank: Strategist
7/16/2019 | 7:26:21 AM
Token Code Timeout
You have 60 seconds to enter your token code before it changes. BEGIN!
Joe Stanganelli
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Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
7/16/2019 | 11:18:12 AM
js01
"Hey! Don't Task.Run on the pool!"
Joe Stanganelli
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67%
Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
7/16/2019 | 11:20:01 AM
js02
"Jim, stop pretending you're drowning in tickets."
ColeyM951
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ColeyM951,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/17/2019 | 12:03:04 PM
Security Monitor on Duty
"SpearPhish! Everyone out of the office!"
drmrs
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drmrs,
User Rank: Strategist
7/17/2019 | 8:46:36 PM
Name that Toon: Beat the Heat
Sick messages detected "swimming" on your computer screen from polluted data entry. 
dspyros
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dspyros,
User Rank: Strategist
7/18/2019 | 9:50:41 AM
Security Awareness Lifeguard
"They have taken our security awareness training way too far this time, can we go back to the online courses once a quarter?"
camerobabe
67%
33%
camerobabe,
User Rank: Strategist
7/18/2019 | 12:04:07 PM
Whaling Alert
Attention! Whaling Alert! Whaling Alert! Whaling attempt spotted in the CEO's email.
justmomoh
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justmomoh,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/18/2019 | 4:09:21 PM
Cartoon caption
 "Your Subscription to life-guide is still active, dont be afraid to put your information online, I got your back"
donm5656
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donm5656,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/18/2019 | 10:58:24 PM
Team Phish
All Right Team, lets just see who's L33T out there! First one to Phish a C Ring officer gets the rest of the day off! One rule - you can only type with one hand! 3-2-1-GO!
kennenga@gmail.com
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75%
[email protected],
User Rank: Apprentice
7/18/2019 | 11:18:19 PM
Excuse ME!
I said no running RDP in the lap pool! 
jeffmccollum
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jeffmccollum,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/19/2019 | 1:10:58 PM
Name That Toon: Beat the Heat
"All security engineers and developers out of the pool! Time for the CISO swim!
mbartel1418
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mbartel1418,
User Rank: Strategist
7/20/2019 | 3:57:05 PM
Caption
Now this is the worst micromanagment I've seen.
Ace2010
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Ace2010,
User Rank: Strategist
7/21/2019 | 1:07:14 PM
Dangerous waters ahead!
Keep your eyes open! This area has been prone to WireShark attacks!
trichodon
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67%
trichodon,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/22/2019 | 10:45:55 AM
Caption
We're ready for the deep dive into office spending!
Ace2010
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Ace2010,
User Rank: Strategist
7/22/2019 | 2:27:29 PM
Not a vacation
Dan and Rhonda were not fooled by the company's attempt to make them believe they were relaxing on a beach somewhere.
Ace2010
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Ace2010,
User Rank: Strategist
7/22/2019 | 2:30:52 PM
Phishing training
When all attempts to train their employees about Phishing failed, the company felt a more agressive approach was needed.
Ace2010
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Ace2010,
User Rank: Strategist
7/22/2019 | 2:36:09 PM
Security Training
Due to their lack of understanding, when the execs heard that the company needed phishing training, this was their answer. Their employees were greatly relieved to find that the execs hadn't been told about Spear Phishing.
acampbell448
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acampbell448,
User Rank: Strategist
7/23/2019 | 11:12:39 AM
Staycation
I've heard of Staycations but this is really taking it to another level!
KarlK136
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KarlK136,
User Rank: Strategist
7/23/2019 | 11:25:10 AM
Come on, click it!
"Come on, click it. Click that link. 

A $25 Amazon gift card to the first person that clicks on that email link."
mkonopka
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mkonopka,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/23/2019 | 11:47:32 AM
Phishing simulation
LG- Attention we have active phishing simulation, I repeat active phishing simulation do not click on that link...

User- Hmm new email from HR let me check this benefits link.

 
sgkmp
29%
71%
sgkmp,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/25/2019 | 12:14:26 PM
BIO Break
Everyone, please, stop what you are doing and step away from your workstations. I'll be away for a few minutes for a BIO break. YOu can resume work when I'back. Safety first. Tks.
USNAE10
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67%
USNAE10,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/25/2019 | 6:07:16 PM
SPF CNTL ALT DELETE
When your boss would rather be at the beach, but cybersecurity is breached!
cmcalicia
14%
86%
cmcalicia,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/27/2019 | 7:19:35 PM
Life Guards zgotta Shout
It's true, managers can be anyone, even lifeguards. To make me feel important I have this here megaphone.
kratiw
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kratiw,
User Rank: Strategist
7/29/2019 | 9:35:46 AM
No swimming in the data lake!
The lake has been comproised by a virus and is currently close. Please report to quarantine now!

 
larriee
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larriee,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/30/2019 | 11:23:52 AM
caption
"Who has any impediments they need rescuing from today?!"
albefranks
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albefranks,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/30/2019 | 7:10:02 PM
Jane!...
Jane! Hey Jane! Reboot, please! .... Yes Jane now. 
acampbell448
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acampbell448,
User Rank: Strategist
7/31/2019 | 9:23:52 AM
Baywatch?
Who requested approval to watch Baywatch during break?   I think it backfired.....
MarkPrindle
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MarkPrindle,
User Rank: Apprentice
7/31/2019 | 2:16:51 PM
Pool caption
"When they invited me to join the office pool, I naturally thought..."
mcollins0092
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mcollins0092,
User Rank: Apprentice
8/1/2019 | 2:04:22 PM
Name That Toon: Beat the Heat
When you apply for the Supervisor position, but you lied on your resume and you have no idea what you're doing.
Julius-1
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Julius-1,
User Rank: Strategist
8/2/2019 | 9:29:29 AM
Upper management reading articles again.
Upper management must have read an article about hiring outside normal talent pools to bring in new ways of doing things.
FMHobbs
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FMHobbs,
User Rank: Strategist
8/2/2019 | 10:04:44 AM
New End Point Security
Janet!  Don't click on that link in that e-mail!  You don't know where it's been!
LauraA445
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LauraA445,
User Rank: Apprentice
8/15/2019 | 5:04:48 PM
Re: New End Point Security
Everyone remain calm during software updates, sharks can smell vunerabilties !
clashe358
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67%
clashe358,
User Rank: Apprentice
8/7/2019 | 1:49:46 PM
The instructive guard
STROKE! STROKE!
Romteck
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67%
Romteck,
User Rank: Strategist
8/7/2019 | 8:48:40 PM
Caption Contest
Hey you!
Yes, you. No Running ... as Admin. Save that for your own network at home.
Romteck
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50%
Romteck,
User Rank: Strategist
8/7/2019 | 8:55:32 PM
Caption Contest
Oh the lifeguard?
It was an unfortunate typo in a memo stating "We need someone to handle GDPR" was autocorrected to "We need someone to handle CPR".
On the upside, we have to wait for 30 minutes after lunch before being allowed back at our desks.
jrig1842
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jrig1842,
User Rank: Strategist
8/9/2019 | 1:48:48 PM
Heated Match Point
"Ladies and gentlemen, this third-round match is the best-of-three tie breaker. Each of you will have 1 minute to examine 10 different emails and determine which one is the real phishing email.  Any ransomware demands will be your responsibility and good luck."
kratiw
100%
0%
kratiw,
User Rank: Strategist
8/12/2019 | 4:23:03 PM
Productivity exercise!
Key ... stroke! Key ... stroke! Key ... stroke! Key ... stroke! Key ... stroke! Key ... stroke! 
Eromeu
33%
67%
Eromeu,
User Rank: Apprentice
8/13/2019 | 1:25:21 PM
Cybersecurity Awareness
Guarantee: Our Cybersecurity Awareness messages will get to our end users!
acampbell448
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acampbell448,
User Rank: Strategist
8/14/2019 | 1:18:18 PM
Winning or Doing it Right?
Ok.   Everyone knows it's only the one with the most lines of code that wins the bonus.....   Ready Set CODE!
PajamaSam
50%
50%
PajamaSam,
User Rank: Apprentice
8/14/2019 | 3:54:51 PM
Name That Toon: Beat the Heat
Walk!
LevA532
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100%
LevA532,
User Rank: Apprentice
8/18/2019 | 10:02:45 AM
Lifeguard on Duty
Lifeguard: [ waving naval flags ] Slide back to the firewall! You are blocking the ports! Repeat! You are blocking the bubble ports!

[...]

Lifeguard: [ through bullhorn ] THE ENTIRE STAFF APPRECIATES YOUR COOPERATION!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!
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Enterprise Vulnerabilities
From DHS/US-CERT's National Vulnerability Database
CVE-2019-8103
PUBLISHED: 2019-08-20
Adobe Acrobat and Reader versions, 2019.012.20035 and earlier, 2019.012.20035 and earlier, 2017.011.30142 and earlier, 2017.011.30143 and earlier, 2017.011.30142 and earlier, 2015.006.30497 and earlier, and 2015.006.30498 and earlier have an out-of-bounds read vulnerability. Successful exploitation ...
CVE-2019-8104
PUBLISHED: 2019-08-20
Adobe Acrobat and Reader versions, 2019.012.20035 and earlier, 2019.012.20035 and earlier, 2017.011.30142 and earlier, 2017.011.30143 and earlier, 2017.011.30142 and earlier, 2015.006.30497 and earlier, and 2015.006.30498 and earlier have an out-of-bounds read vulnerability. Successful exploitation ...
CVE-2019-8105
PUBLISHED: 2019-08-20
Adobe Acrobat and Reader versions, 2019.012.20035 and earlier, 2019.012.20035 and earlier, 2017.011.30142 and earlier, 2017.011.30143 and earlier, 2017.011.30142 and earlier, 2015.006.30497 and earlier, and 2015.006.30498 and earlier have an out-of-bounds read vulnerability. Successful exploitation ...
CVE-2019-8106
PUBLISHED: 2019-08-20
Adobe Acrobat and Reader versions, 2019.012.20035 and earlier, 2019.012.20035 and earlier, 2017.011.30142 and earlier, 2017.011.30143 and earlier, 2017.011.30142 and earlier, 2015.006.30497 and earlier, and 2015.006.30498 and earlier have an out-of-bounds read vulnerability. Successful exploitation ...
CVE-2019-8058
PUBLISHED: 2019-08-20
Adobe Acrobat and Reader versions, 2019.012.20035 and earlier, 2019.012.20035 and earlier, 2017.011.30142 and earlier, 2017.011.30143 and earlier, 2017.011.30142 and earlier, 2015.006.30497 and earlier, and 2015.006.30498 and earlier have an use after free vulnerability. Successful exploitation coul...